My mother is beginning to get sad that her baby girls are getting to be all growed up. One baby is receiving her Masters next week, and the other (ie, me) is going to be a junior in college. All this and a nasty dose of pre-menopausal hormones and you've got yourself one sappy (and sometimes snappy) mommy.
Among the baby books and memory boxes, Mom found the video tape of my senior year After Prom, which documents me and several classmates getting thoroughly hypnotized. I had hoped to forget this tape, because I seem to be pretty good at going under, and they had me convinced I was everything from a five year-old in a scary movie to a Tupalo, Mississippi resident arguing over just who that double wide trailer belonged to. And every time they said "chair" I thought somebody was pinching my ass.
But the worst is at the end of the show they handed me a little gold trophy, and until 3 am, everyone who said trophy to me got to hear how "I was a star in the Kent Sorrells Show!"
Mom loves this tape.
I have a feeling that it will be shown at every major family event from now until my funeral, and it will probably get played there, too. I take comfort in the fact that, though I may have sounded like an idiot, my updo hadn't fallen apart yet and I looked really cute in that zebra print tank top. I just like to be able to document that I am just like any other normal girl, and I didn't get fat until I went away to college.
But if I have to hear my Grandmary yell "chair" at me one more time, I swear to God I'll do more than just pinch her ass.