When it gets this cold outside, I always just want to curl up with my Loveable and Adorable and go to sleep in front of a fire. I know that this is a common thought among overly romantic people such as myself, and I know that in reality it isn't such a good idea. A) I've got way too much shit to do to be lying around by fires, and B) I don't know about who y'all date, but my boyfriend is a regular furnace. That boy conducts more heat than six lab rats having an orgy in a polyester-wool blend sock on top of a radiator. This is a great attribute in a cold basement or subzero degree car, but if we tried to snuggle next to a fire I would soon persih from heat exaustion.
I spent the weekend in Ames, Iowa for a Provence meeting for my sorority. Ames is quite the happening town, I'm telling you. If you ever get the urge to go there, I strongly suggest you just keep on going. I hear Canada is lovely this time of year.
All random Iowaness aside, it was a pretty good weekend. I was all rah rah sorority the whole time, so I've gotten a good fill of Greek-life for awhile. And I have never sung so much in my life. Every couple of hours someone would burst into song, and all the ladies would join in. Like, do we have time for a music montage? We always have time for a music montage!
And we got to roll up there in one of those big ass tour buses. Leather seats, full bathroom, fridge and mocrowave. I swear to god it was like being a rock star. Especially with all the singing.
Sometimes I like to buy bridal magazines and plan my ideal wedding. It's kind of scary, and I know it kind freaks the Loveable and Adorable out a little, but I can't help it. I've always been like this.
When I was little my Barbies would have long and elaborate weddings with huge wedding parties and extravagent receptions. Skipper always caught the bouquet, but Midge (the red-headed bitch) would always try and take it from her. I even had a set of matching bridesmaids dresses for the other Barbies. I only had two Ken dolls, and one suit, so there was never a best man.
Ken usually benefitted from this arrangement.
My older sister was a tom-boy and played with GI Joe's instead of Barbie. The only time we played together was when Barbie and Joe got married. Barbie always liked a man in uniform. Then Joe would get sent off to war while Barbie was left at home to manage the home front and cruise around in her hot pink Jeep.
My loveable and adorable was here this weekend and he did a really really really good job with the gift this year. Can't tell what it is for awhile, but if you're lucky, then you'll find out soon.
On a not-at-all related note:
My sorority's formal was Saturday night, and not only did I look way hot, had a hot date, and got really drunk, but it was a very entertaining night as well.
Drunk Formal Event #1: A girl was proposed to about halfway through the night. It was a very romantic gesture, but he didn't quite stick the landing. As I recall, his exact words were, "So y'all know I love this girl, right? Ok, will you marry me?" Despite sketchy verbage, the gesture was well recieved and the audience, being composed of mostly really drunk and emotional sorority girls, became a big weepy mess. There was squealing and bawling and flappy hands, and drunk swaying girls going "Oh my god that was SO beautiful." All the guys kept looking around at each other like, seriously...is this for real? As the Loveable and Adorable commented, he wished he had brought his water wings.
Drunk Formal Event #2: Being social chair and the proud organizer of this function, I had the honor of announcing the King of Formal, which is a senior gentleman who's elected to be an honorary member of the seniorpledge class. When I was sober, this sounded great, but after a couple (or six) gin and tonics, the act was made slightly more difficult. As I recall, it went something like this, " Ummmm, scuzzzze me!Just one quick announcement. SSSShhhhhhhhh....I just want to announce this year's King. [mass hysteria among seniors, who excite easily] This year's king...David, I mean Doug, I mean DANIEL Smith! Way to go Danny Boy!"
Drunk Formal Even #3: I made friends with the door guys, got a free shot of something green, got to be 21 all night long, and professed my love to all of my roommates and half of their dates.
Drunk Formal Event #4: After I bought the Loveable and Adorable a mostly bourbon bourbon and coke, and myself another gin and tonic (with TWO limes) we headed back to the house, where our beligerent asses got into a loud and dramatic fight that was played out in true drunk fashion, in front of everyone. He wated to play the piano, I did not. He persisted, I resisted. he played anyway, I started crying and stomped off. He did not follow, I came back and dragged his drunk ass out of the house. He protested, I cried and ran away. He slipped on the ice and fell on his aforementioned drunk ass, I didn't se it, but if I had I wouln't have cared. We returned to our hotel, fought really loud for awhile, broke down crying like small children, and then passed out. The next morning, all was well and we kind of forgot we ever fought.
The mornings after functions are always my favorite. We had brunch and just kind of sat back and listened to all of the war stories from the night before. It's always a trip to listen to people's sober renditions of what they did drunk the night before.
All in all, I think it was a good night. And if I didn' see you... I love you sooooooooooooooooooo muccchhhhh.
In honor of the holiday (which was actually started in 270 AD and not by Hallmark) here is a list of the things I am in love with right now:
1. My loveable and adorable Michael (duh)
2. Fake nails (they're great, but now typing is kind of a problem)
3. Chocolate-covered strawberries
4. Bridal magazines (especially ones with 976 pages of dresses...sorry Mikey, I couldn't help it)
5. Green tea
6. Knowing that I am going to look hot hot hot at formal tomorrow night
7. Naps all morning long
8. A warming trend in the weather
9. My beautiful friend Stacy
10. Invites to the Winery
11. Fake IDs
12. 236 days til I won't need my fake ID anymore
13. That Kid Rock/Sheryl Crow song
14. Good hair days
15. Getting an email from work "preparing" us for the possibility of being sent home early when things get slow
16. New outfits just for tonight
Tomorrow I have to give a speech demonstrating a skill to my Intro to Public Speaking class. I have no marketable skills and I don't know how to do anything of remote interest. So I am demonstrating the one thing I know how to do well. I am going to demonstrate gift-wrapping.
And not just any gift-wrapping, my friend. No pansy-ass gobs of tape, mismatched patterns, and a stick-on bow gift-wrapping. I am talking the kind of gift-wrapping that would make Martha Stewart have to check her pants. And yes, I can wrap like that. I can whip out perfect packages with big ole ribbonlicious bows and handmade cards like I am some sort of gift-wrap guru.
Besides, I just got my nails done and we wouldn't want to do anything strenuous, now would we.
So excuse me, but I am going to go back to my double-sided tape and my ribbon and my polka-dot tissue paper and think about just how relevant to my adult life this is.
It kind of scares me that when, in light that my sorority's formal is this coming Saturday, some girls say very dramatcally that they won't be eating this week, you can tell that some of them mean it. I've never lived with so many beautiful girls who think that they are so ugly. I don't know what causes a person to hate themselves that much, but it's really sad. Here at NSSD, we are all about the inner beauty, of course. I mean, everybody loves frosting, but you've got to have some cake under there somewhere.
Also, Valentine's Day is this Friday, and I think that some people want to be skinny so that they look cuter for the humpy hump that will be going on.
After reading the last post, and after going over my 3 am drunk dial, and after getting one whif of my hair and wanting to yak all over myself, I've come to a very important conclusion: I feel like a big piece of poop right now, and I never ever want to drink again.
Oh yes, and shall we recall falling down the stairs at Sigma Nu? Or spilling a beer on my pants? Or having some guy named Tim trying to give my car a name,and the best thing he could come up with was Cleetus. Or deciding that Stacy, Bridgette, and I are going to form a new sorority when we move in together so that girls in different houses can hang out together as one. Yeah, we're calling it Sigma Beta Mu. I'm the Mu.